8 Lessons Marriage Has Taught Me, So Far

When I said “I do,” I thought I knew what love was — the butterflies, the late-night convos, the hand-holding, the us against the world feeling. And while those sweet moments are very real (and still very alive), marriage has taught me so much more than I ever expected.

Here are some of the biggest lessons marriage has gifted me so far — some beautiful, some messy, all worth it.

1. Love is a daily choice, not just a feeling.
Feelings come and go — especially when you’re tired, stressed, or just annoyed that they left their socks lying on some random place on the floor (again). But choosing love every day, even in the small things, is where the magic lives.

2. Communication isn’t just talking — it’s listening to understand.
I used to think if I said something, I communicated. But real communication happens when I pause to listen without jumping to defend myself. Hard? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely.

3. It’s okay to be different — we’re teammates, not twins.
We don’t have to think alike to love alike. We’ve learned to embrace our differences, even if it means agreeing to disagree over thermostat settings or how to load the dishwasher (even though my way is still better 😅).

4. Forgiveness isn’t optional.
We both mess up. We both say things we regret. And holding onto grudges only creates distance. Forgiveness is the bridge that keeps us connected — even on hard days.

5. The little things are the big things.
Coffee in bed. A random text just to say “Thank you for all you do” or “I love you.” Taking over bedtime duties without asking. These small acts of kindness and love build a foundation stronger than any grand gesture ever could.

6. Growth happens when you’re willing to be vulnerable.
Marriage has held up a mirror to the parts of myself I didn’t always want to see. But through honesty, accountability, and grace, we’ve grown individually and together.

7. Laughter can fix almost anything.
Life gets heavy sometimes, but a shared laugh can cut through the tension like sunshine after rain. Never underestimate the power of an inside joke or a good belly laugh in your PJs.

8. Marriage isn’t 50/50 — it’s 100/100.
It’s not about keeping score. Some days, one of us carries more. Other days, the roles reverse. It’s about showing up with all you’ve got, even when “all” looks a little different day to day.

Marriage isn’t perfect. But it’s perfectly ours.
Every lesson, every laugh, every late-night talk and early-morning eye roll — it’s shaping something beautiful. Not because it’s flawless, but because it’s real.

And that’s a love story I’ll keep writing every single day.

Till next time, Mary,